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Help Yourself Before You Help Others

Updated: Sep 1, 2023

Do you actually do this?

We all know and understand that during an aircraft emergency, the drill is to put on your own oxygen mask as quickly as possible. The reason for this is that if you don't take care of yourself, you won't be able to help others. This principle also applies to your daily life. There is no way you can perform well in your work or take care of others if you're not looking after yourself first.


If you're unable to perform activities or tasks due to physical limitations, you're already facing obstacles. Having physical and mental strength allows you to adapt and persevere. Our perception of a situation is positive or negative, usually influenced by society, life experience, principles, and the positive or negative people around you.

Your physical health is connected to your mental and emotional health. If one fails, the others are influenced, and we tend to try quick superficial fixes.

Our emotions are like the topping on a cake; they are what we show. It is through our emotions that we can help ourselves resolve some of the barriers we have put in place usually part of our mental health.

Our emotions tell a story, such as when we:

  • Buy clothes or goods to feel better, but the satisfaction is often short-lived.

  • Eat something indulgent, which can provide a burst of energy or pleasure, but may result in a drop in mood, especially if we feel guilty afterwards.

  • Use alcohol as a way to unwind, but this can lead to daily or binge drinking, which can have negative effects on our liver and overall health.

  • Consume sugary foods or drinks for a quick energy boost, but this can lead to a cycle of craving and overconsumption.

  • Turn to drugs to escape negative emotions, but this only provides temporary relief and can lead to worse feelings once the effects wear off.

All of these behaviors can be consequences of our emotional and mental state, and it's important to delve deeper into the reasons behind them. One useful technique is the "5 Whys" method, where you ask yourself "why" multiple times until you get to the root of the issue. It's important to acknowledge the answer, no matter how uncomfortable it may be.

If you're unhappy with something in your life, ask yourself why you're allowing it to happen. It could be that you're unintentionally sabotaging your own progress. Whatever the issue, try asking yourself why and see where it leads you. The key is to be honest with yourself and open to making changes.

To illustrate the "5 Whys" technique, consider this example:

  1. Why do I turn to alcohol for a treat? Because I feel like I deserve it after a hard day's work.

  2. Why do I feel like I need a treat for my day's work? Because I don't typically do nice things for myself, and alcohol is an easy and cheap way to unwind.

  3. Why don't I do other nice things for myself? Because I don't plan ahead or prioritise self-care activities that are more meaningful to me.

  4. Why don't I plan more meaningful self-care activities? Because I'm worried about getting sick with Long Covid, which has affected several members of my family, so it feels pointless to plan anything.

  5. Why am I so afraid of illness or death? Because I worry that I won't be able to fulfil my purpose in life and feel useless and out of control.

In this example, the "5 Whys" helped uncover deeper fears and concerns that were contributing to the person's reliance on alcohol for relaxation. By acknowledging these fears and exploring ways to address them, they may be able to find healthier ways to cope with stress and prioritise self-care.

You don't have to stick to five whys; you can keep going until you feel you have reached uncomfortable feelings. This is when you can review and change them. You may laugh, but there are many times when I talk to myself out loud, asking myself questions and answering them while alone. I actually have the answers! The same is true for you. You have the answers to what is going on in your head, so don't be afraid to talk to yourself. Sometimes writing this exercise down is helpful, especially if you don't have privacy to talk out loud without anyone hearing you.

The idea that understanding "why" you do things, gives a rational reason for your actions and is supported by psychological research. In psychology, it is known as the concept of "motivation," which refers to the reason why people behave in certain ways. When you understand your motivation, you are more likely to have a clear understanding of your actions and be able to make decisions that are consistent with your goals.

Undertanding yourself helps you unlock a new outlook on your life

When working as a sport therapist I came across Dr Ray Perrin and his successful technique proven to cure some cases of M.E. Chronic Fatigue, Lyme Disease, Long Covid among other viruses. The Perrin Technique.

This technique focuses on an osteopathic approach that manually stimulates the fluid motion around the brain and spinal cord. It helps drain toxins out of the lymphatic system to be detoxified in the liver. With no poisons affecting the brain, the sympathetic nervous system begins to function correctly resulting in less or no symptoms.

The exciting reality is that Dr Perrin's work is helping thousands of people take back control of their lives. What an accomplishment!

In my previous work as a sport therapist, I helped people with physical pain relief. I also focused on emotional health and self treatment. It is proven through psychology research in health that patients who are actively involved in their own care have better health outcomes. It is during this time in my career I witnessed firsthand self treatment techniques working to benefit individuals quality of life.

My new role has changed but my purpose in helping others hasn't. With H&S qualifications, working with people, owning a business and experiences with multiple industries. This career path allows me to help people within businesses. Understanding the importance of core interlinked systems and the health and wellbeing of people. What more can a girl ask for in fulfilment in her job :) Compliance Health and Safety

Back to advocating The Perrin Technique and the wonderful work and research...

Dr Ray Perrin

I hadn't come across his work before 2021. Hours upon hours of fascinating findings from podcast interviews, YouTube interviews, methods, books, and research papers... It made sense! His work, research, and practice are amazing... and he's from Manchester!

Today, I am proud to share with you some of the information I found. The Perrin Technique™ is based on Dr. Perrin's theory that different stress factors, whether physical, allergies, emotional, or infections, lead to an overstrain of the sympathetic nervous system. Further investigation has led to a probable cause of this nervous system overload being a buildup of toxins in the fluid around the brain and the spinal cord. Some of the poisons caused by infection or inflammation in the head or spine, flow through channels from the brain into the lymph ducts of the head, face, and neck. The toxins are also meant to drain down the spinal cord and out into the lymph ducts lying along the spine. In CFS/ME sufferers, there is a backflow of these normal drainage points, which leads to further toxicity and dysfunction of the central nervous system. This leads to all the many symptoms we see in CFS/ME. This has been researched and proven to be a scientific cure for over 30 years. I am delighted to inform you that since I came across his work in 2021, he has found The Perrin Technique works for cases of Long Covid.

You can listen to the man himself as he's interviewed on this episode of The Delingpod : James Delingpole's podcast. It lasts little more than an hour and is worth every minute.

Through listening to this I discovered that in some cases from birth, if the cranium has been squashed in a certain area, it can result in the brain not draining properly with the toxins building up through the years which can lead to ME... Please listen through to the end as he discusses a variety of diseases and new developments taking place. What changes he has already made in people’s lives are beyond words and what may come in the future is even more exciting.

To end this blog I'm feeling thankful, and would like to do a little exercise for wellbeing.

It is noticing the small moments that make a big difference


Get a pen and paper and write :

This week ...

  • I am grateful for ___________

  • ____________made me smile

  • I found ____________ hard but overcome it by __________

  • I have achieved _________

It doesn't matter if you do one from the list or all of them. Being thankful and appreciating moments brightens up who you are.

Now write one thing you want to do for the week ahead.


... ask yourself

  • What is it I'd like to do in my lifetime? From this answer ask yourself

  • What is stopping you? (list the things you come up with)

An example is

I'd like to exercise more

Stopping me is - time, motivation, no support etc

For every answer you have listed... ask yourself

  • Why are you so good and capable of ...... (write down the list again but this time with a positive interpretation).

An example is

I am good and capable of making time in my week for exercise - I can commit to 6.30am walks / run with dog.

I am good and capable of motivation as I know if I commit to a routine for two months it becomes a habit and motivation won't be an issue any longer.

I am good and capable of finding support from my family, friends and local community. I can arrange meet-ups with friends or exercise buddies to ensure I commit and help support them too. I am messaging Carla and Sophie to set up a WhatsApp group to arrange this.

Giving yourself a different answer from the negative chatterbox, ends with you working out solutions to do the things you set out to do.


Our brain works like Google and provides answers and facts - the key is to ask it positive questions, so we don't become debilitated with doubt and negative thoughts.

Good luck and let me know how you get on :

Thanks for reading.

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